Keke Palmer, the actress, has a boyfriend (Darius Jackson) who is also her child’s father. They have a child together, and recently he has been receiving backlash because Keke Palmer wore a very sexy and revealing outfit to an Usher concert, which he did not approve of. Keke has been sharing photos of herself that leave little to the imagination. While the outfit does not fully expose the main parts of her body, it is undeniably provocative.
This has become a major news story, highlighting the issue of her unmarried partner being criticized for commenting on her choices and morals. There will undoubtedly be a significant amount of backlash against this situation. In today’s society, many believe that women should have the freedom to do as they please and dress in a way that represents their individuality, regardless of whether they have a partner who may face public commentary. I would like to address a few aspects of this incident and discuss why the outfit and her behavior at the Usher concert may not be considered acceptable.
WHY KEKE’S BOYFRIEND HAD TO ADDRESS THE INCIDENT PUBLICLY
Firstly, amidst the discussions about his disapproval of her outfit, a significant issue raised was that he addressed it publicly. “Oh, the horror! If he had an issue with her attire, he should have expressed it privately. How dare he publicly shame her for wearing a sexy outfit?”
But here’s the thing. This guy was well aware that he was in a lose-lose situation. If he remained silent about the issue in public, people would assume that he didn’t address it with her privately, especially if similar incidents were to occur in the future. Additionally, given her fame, Keke knew that her outfit would likely be captured by paparazzi, featured in magazines, or shared on social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok.
Therefore, addressing the matter publicly became necessary to avoid the assumption that he was turning a blind eye. He must have known that such a public response would invite backlash, but it was preferable for him to make it clear that he was addressing the situation rather than allowing assumptions to circulate. Otherwise, he would face questions about why he permitted her to wear the outfit in public.
Unfortunately, situations like these often place the burden on men, as they are questioned about their role and involvement. If a woman does something embarrassing or detrimental to the relationship, it’s often attributed to the man’s supposed lack of control. However, if he does address it, he is criticized for attempting to control her choices. So, once again, gentlemen, these are lose-lose scenarios, and this man had to make a choice. He chose to address it.
WHY KEKE PALMER’S OUTFIT AT THE USHER CONCERT IS UNACCEPTABLE
Some women may argue that he shouldn’t judge her and that she should be allowed to wear whatever she wants in public without him monitoring her choices. However, I must call that argument complete nonsense because women often judge men’s outfits all the time.
For instance, if a guy is wearing a ruffled t-shirt, shorts, and sweatpants around the house and wants to wear the same outfit in public, what do women say? They tell him to put on a different shirt, to iron his clothes, to look presentable. Why do women say that? Because they instinctively understand that if they go out in public with him looking a certain way, the public will judge him and, in turn, judge her for allowing him to leave the house with a wrinkled shirt, unkempt appearance, or unattractive shoes.
Women, in general, are aware that their men’s appearance reflects on them. So, why is it that when men start judging women based on how they present themselves in public, women get upset? It’s a complete double standard and unfair. However, gentlemen, we must acknowledge that it exists and will continue to happen.
With that being said, here’s why her outfit is considered unacceptable.
Firstly, her outfit sends a signal to other men that she may be available. Women are aware of this fact. When they dress up and go to nightclubs or social events wearing revealing outfits, it is often to attract attention. However, the question is, what kind of attention are they seeking?
Now, to be fair to Keke, she is in Hollywood and being in the public eye means that wearing such outfits keeps her in the spotlight and generates conversations about her. I understand that aspect.
However, the more important issue is that her outfit accentuates certain features traditionally associated with attracting male attention when a woman wants to signal her availability. Despite the public’s knowledge that she has a partner and children with him, this does not prevent other men from attempting to pursue a woman who flaunts these attributes.
This is the primary reason why at least this particular man finds her outfit unacceptable. He knows that other men will see her in this outfit as a signal that she is open to potential advances. Ladies, this may not always be clear to you, but that is what is happening. When we see women dressed in a certain way, we think, “Wow, she’s showcasing those assets. She must be available for us to approach and potentially engage with.” That’s just how it is.
The second reason why her outfit is unacceptable is that it demonstrates a lack of respect for her significant other, in this case, her baby daddy. Now, I may be an old-fashioned Southern guy from Virginia, but I firmly believe that if a woman is in a committed relationship, she should not purposefully display her assets to the rest of the world.
And I say “purposefully” because Keke is naturally well-endowed, and having recently given birth those endowments have probably gotten even bigger. Therefore, it’s inevitable that people will take notice of her appearance every time she steps out of her front door without having to do anything more than walk around. I understand that almost anything she wears will likely reveal some cleavage or accentuate her backside.
However, the issue is the fact that she actively chose to wear an outfit that emphasized those aspects to another level. She purposefully wore an outfit that highlights her buttocks and pushes her breasts together, almost spilling out of her top. What this signals to her man is, “I don’t respect you enough to reserve this for our private space. I want to showcase it to anyone willing to look.”
This is a highly disrespectful stance for a woman to take regarding her partner. Ideally, if you love and care for your man, you should be inclined to showcase those attributes in that manner solely for him. Failing to do so demonstrates a lack of respect for him. Consider this: he is at home, taking care of your children and trying to be a supportive partner. Yet, your response is to go out and display what you should be reserving for him, without regard for his feelings. It is a selfish position for a woman to adopt.
The third reason why her outfit is unacceptable is because it attracts a lot of attention, as I’ve mentioned before. However, this attention can put a man at a higher risk of having to fend off other men who may approach her. Guys understand this reality. When we’re in public with an attractive woman, we know that there are other men out there, like wolves, observing and checking out her cleavage and buttocks. It’s inevitable and something we have to accept.
However, the more provocatively dressed a woman is, the more attention she will draw, and there is a higher potential for other men to try to approach her. If you happen to be in public with her, you may even face challenges to your manhood, as other men may perceive it as a competition to win her favor. This negative attention is what a woman dressed in revealing attire often seeks.
For example: In the video, we see that her boyfriend is not at the concert with her. She’s with her girlfriends. And what happens? Usher notices her in the crowd during his concert and approaches her, sings to her, and engages with her. This draws attention from another man. If Usher had suggested, after the concert, “Why don’t you come back to my hotel room?” I don’t think Keke would have said “no” based on her attire and actions. This is yet another reason why her outfit is unacceptable.
For women who don’t understand this, please recognize that when you dress scantily clad in public, these are the situations that men have to deal with as a result of your clothing choice. It is unfair for a man to have to navigate these circumstances.
THE REAL REASON HE SHOULD BE MAD: HER BEHAVIOR WITH USHER
However, here’s the real reason why he should be mad, though he might not want to address it. Aside from being dressed provocatively, she also allowed Usher to feel all over her with her without trying to stop it. In that moment, she didn’t think about the fact that she has a man at home or consider how he would feel if he witnessed such behavior. Instead, she leaned into it, rubbing her cleavage against his chest and engaging in intimate interactions.
That’s the real reason this guy is angry: because he saw another man getting close to his woman, and he couldn’t do anything about it because he was likely at home with the kids. She also intentionally showcased her assets to the entire world. Why does she feel the need to do that? We already know she possesses those attributes, and men are already looking. It’s one thing if random guys give passing glances, but she actively protrudes her assets to the world.
These actions are not those of a woman who is trying to be faithful or demonstrate any form of care or, more importantly, loyalty to her partner. Men understand this: If our woman starts engaging in provocative behaviors or gestures toward another man or other people in public, it shows a lack of respect towards us as men.
4 LESSSONS TO LEARN FROM THIS INCIDENT
So, what can men learn from this Keke Palmer incident? Here are four key points.
#1: ALWAYS ADDRESS BAD BEHAVIOR WHEN IT FIRST HAPPENS
Firstly, these types of actions from your partner often manifest early on in the dating process. There will be a point, whether it’s during the early stages of dating or the beginning of your boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, where she may say or do something that requires addressing. It could be a disrespectful comment or her choice of an outfit that is revealing or inappropriate for public settings.
In that moment, it’s crucial for you to express your feelings and concerns. You have every right to communicate that you think it’s too much for public display and suggest a more suitable option that still allows her to look good. It’s important to establish your boundaries and address such issues early on.
What you should not do is initially accept or tolerate something that bothers you and then, years later, suddenly express your discomfort with it. I’ve encountered situations where a woman would engage in certain behaviors or actions early on that I found pleasing, only for her to later admit that she didn’t actually want to do those things but felt compelled to at the time. As a man, this can be frustrating. For example, if you enjoy receiving massages in bed, and she willingly gave them to you in the beginning, but later decides she no longer wants to, it would understandably upset you. It feels unfair because she was performing those actions solely because you liked them, but now she’s withdrawing them.
The same principle applies to women. They are open to hearing and respecting your boundaries, but you must communicate them when issues arise, as it would be unfair to address them later on.
Secondly, the excuse of her being a mother doesn’t mean she’s going to want to change past behaviors. If she dressed provocatively before becoming a mother, her status as a mom doesn’t automatically mean she’s going to want to stop dressing that way. In this guy’s case, his problem was that over the years, it became evident that Keke was consistently attempting to wear revealing outfits.
If he failed to address it early on, attempting to address it now will be much more challenging, especially considering her celebrity status and the fact that she has been dressing this way for a significant period of time. If it was something he couldn’t handle, he should have addressed it early on or chosen to exit the relationship before it became an issue.
#2: ALWAYS DISCUSS WHAT IS/NOT ACCEPTABLE ATTIRE
The second lesson to be learned from this incident is the importance of having discussions early on about what constitutes an acceptable outfit for both parties. In this case, she believes she should have the freedom to wear whatever she wants and determine what is or isn’t too revealing. That’s her judgment call, and that’s fine.
However, if he wasn’t comfortable with it, those discussions could have taken place early in the dating process when she initially dressed provocatively. He could have had a conversation like, “Hey babe, I don’t want to restrict you from wearing anything that makes you feel somewhat sexy, but we need to establish some boundaries. Let’s talk about what is appropriate and what might create issues for both of us down the line. Just as I don’t want to go out looking unkempt and reflecting poorly on you, I don’t want you to wear things that might create problems for us in the future. So, let’s have that discussion.”
Realistically, these discussions need to happen. I understand it might feel strange for guys, and they might think, “Why should we have to talk about these things?” Well, if you don’t want to address it later on, address it now.
#3: YOUR WOMAN’S ACTIONS WILL ALWAYS COME BACK TO REPRESENT YOU
The third lesson to learn from this incident is that the actions of your partner reflect upon you, and the world at large will judge you based on her actions. Sometimes guys don’t think about this until something like this happens.
Consider this: I came across this story last night and decided to discuss it on my show at midnight because I knew that the world would know about it when they woke up this morning. Now, she is plastered all over the media, and when you search for Keke Palmer on YouTube, most of the videos are about this incident, showing the video and discussing it.
This guy now has to address the situation because his partner chose to dress scantily and engage inappropriately with Usher. He is now a part of this incident and has to face commentary. As I mentioned earlier, if he doesn’t comment on it, people will ask why he allowed her to dress like that. If he does address it, they will criticize him for judging her choice of clothing. In either case, her actions have dragged him into the situation.
So, guys, this is why you need to exercise discernment in choosing who you date. You need to be wise in selecting the women you tie yourself to in a relationship and have children with. This guy is connected to a famous woman who wears whatever she wants and doesn’t care about his opinion. However, she fails to recognize that her actions still reflect on him, even if he’s not in the public eye like she is.
Even if you’re not dating a celebrity, understand that your partner’s actions, clothing choices, and interactions in public, as well as the company she keeps, all reflect on you. The world will come to you, and as the guy, you are expected to be the leader in the relationship. So, everything ultimately falls on your shoulders. If she acts foolishly, people will ask where her man was. If she wears revealing clothing and encounters harm, people will question why her man allowed her to do so. You will face heavy judgment. Therefore, choose women who will make you look good and who won’t purposefully engage in actions that will come back to haunt you.
#4: ALWAYS STAND BY YOUR PRINCIPLES, EVEN IF THE WORLD DOESN’T AGREE
And the fourth lesson for guys to learn, which is incredibly important, is that just because the world disagrees with you doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
I appreciate the way this guy handled the incident because people were criticizing him for judging what she wore. In response, he said, “We live in a generation where a man in the family doesn’t want the wife and mother of his kids to showcase booty cheeks to please others, and he gets told how much of a hater he is. This is my family and my representation. I have standards and morals to what I believe. I rest my case.”
I say, kudos to that guy. He’s stating that he doesn’t care if others disagree with him. He believes that his partner, who is the mother of his children, should not represent herself in a disrespectful way to herself and to him. We can debate all day about whether her outfit was actually disrespectful or not, but those are discussions they should have had early on.
The point is, if those are his standards, then he should stick by them, regardless of what the world thinks. Today, the world often accepts things that should not be acceptable when it comes to certain moral standards. If it doesn’t align with your beliefs and values, you have every right to stand firm. So, kudos to this guy for not wavering.
I don’t know if he and Keke will have a private conversation or not, but I hope this incident serves as an eye-opener for everyone at home regarding the types of women out there who are willing to prioritize looking sexy for the world, even when they are in a relationship, and how to address these issues early on in the dating process or later on.
LASTLY, A WORD TO THE LADIES
And for the women out there, I understand that there is a sentiment today about women being able to do whatever they want and dress however they want. But let’s be real, ladies. You are inviting a man into your life to be your protector and provider. If you find a man willing to fulfill those roles, the least you could do is avoid intentionally doing things that test those qualities.
We want to be your protectors; however, we don’t want you to engage in actions that purposefully put us in situations where we now have to protect you as a burdensome consequence. By wearing provocative outfits in public while being in a committed relationship, you attract unnecessary attention that men then have to deal with. Whether it’s unwanted advances or people gossiping about you, there’s a myriad of situations where you expect us to step in and handle it. We don’t want to deal with unnecessary situations caused by your actions.
So, if nothing else, women, be respectful of your partner. Be aware that when you go out, you represent us, and your clothing choices will reflect on us.
This is not an attempt to regress to the early 1900s and control what you wear or require you to cover up all the time. I believe women are intelligent and reasonable enough to understand the distinction between dressing stylishly and showing a little bit of skin while still dressing tastefully and respectfully, versus going out and exposing all your assets to the world. And if your partner expresses concern about it, it’s not because he’s insecure. He understands that the world will judge him based on your actions. So, ladies, be mindful of that.