The following article is based on an edited transcript of the above video:
So today, we’re going to discuss three key reasons why women absolutely love men who exhibit leadership qualities. I want to address this topic because in previous videos, I’ve mentioned the importance for guys to trust themselves when making decisions, particularly when it comes to dating and going out with women.
Women desire men who can take charge, as it demonstrates masculine attributes. However, what exactly is it about these qualities that attracts women? I want to delve deeper into this subject to provide you with a comprehensive understanding from a woman’s perspective. You’ll gain insights into the specific qualities that enhance their attraction towards you when you display leadership.
The first reason women love men who display leadership qualities is that it’s the easiest and quickest way for them to build trust in you. As we all know, on average, women often seek a partner who can take the lead and be the person they can follow, especially in a household setting. Consequently, women will test this aspect early on, sometimes as early as the first date, when you propose going out and she asks, “Great, what should we do on this date?”
Unfortunately, many guys inadvertently sabotage themselves by attempting to maintain a sense of equality and inclusiveness. They respond with statements like, “Well, whatever you want to do,” or “What are you into?” In their minds, they believe they are being accommodating and allowing her to have a say in the plans. However, what they are unintentionally doing is preventing her from developing trust in them. Women crave this trust because the faster they can establish it, the easier it becomes for them to affirm their own feelings, thinking, “I must really like this guy,” and believing that choosing you is a good decision.
So, in the early stages of dating, she’s searching for opportunities to build trust by allowing you to make decisions. For instance, on that first date, when she asks, “Hey, what do you want to do?” the worst response you could give is to turn the question back to her, saying, “Well, what do you want to do?” Instead, you need to be a decisive guy. Say, “I have a few restaurant options. We can go to this restaurant or that place at this time on this day.”
By taking the lead in suggesting specific plans, you enable her to start trusting you. She’ll think, “Okay, I can trust that wherever he’s taking me will be a good and enjoyable place, with food options I can enjoy.” This exercise allows her to build trust because she enters the dating experience hoping for a successful outcome. It’s an easier and faster way to establish trust compared to constantly seeking her input or trying to make every decision together.
And I get it, guys. We’re thinking we need to be equal and that we need to, you know, let a woman have her say about the things we’re doing and not just tell her what to do. And honestly, a lot of women don’t mind being told what to do, but part of that is because they assume that by giving you that authority, they’re going to be able to trust you. And in order to build that trust, she knows she has to let you go through the exercise of making decisions and then experiencing the result of those decisions so that way she can build trust more quickly.
The second reason women are attracted to men who display leadership qualities is because of mystery. When she tells you, “Hey, you plan the date out, take us wherever,” understand that part of it is because she doesn’t want to know every single detail of your plans. She doesn’t want to know the outcome of all these decisions, because women are turned on by the unknown.
Think about how often you’ve heard a woman say, “I’m looking for a dark, mysterious guy” or “I like guys that I can’t quite figure out.” So, you have to consider the fact that when women say they want you to make the decision, it means they don’t want to have all the information. For women, a part of the excitement of dating is being able to show up and see what unfolds. When you try to share every single thing or involve her in every decision, it takes away the sense of mystery that women find so enjoyable in dating.
Now, this isn’t to say that you can never allow her to have any input or never inform her about your plans. However, it does mean that because she’s trying to build trust and follow your leadership, it’s perfectly fine not to disclose every single thing you’re planning. In fact, that’s what they actually want. They want to be kept in the dark about certain things. They want to be able to walk into a situation and be pleasantly surprised.
Think about it: women love to share stories with their girlfriends about what happened on a date or any activity. And a great story for them to share is something like, “Yeah, my guy just told me to pack a bag for the weekend and show up. And then he took me to a hotel, a beach, and a concert, and I had no idea.”
Just imagine what she’s conveying to her friend. She’s telling her friend that this guy loves her so much that he planned something without her knowing all the details. He could read her well and figure out what she would enjoy. It shows that they’re in sync because he can plan things without her having to explicitly state her preferences. Plus, it adds an element of excitement and surprise for her because she shared various things with him, not knowing which one he would use to create a delightful surprise. It demonstrates that he’s thinking about her and truly listening.
And the third reason women find a guy with leadership qualities so attractive is because guys in their leadership role are decisive. And what that means for women is that it can help them escape the “Land of Maybe.” I’ve discussed this before, and I don’t think I’m speaking out of turn because I’ve dated plenty of women who have gone through the same thing. They face a decision where both options look appealing, and they don’t want to give up one option in case the other option might have been better.
But when both options seem equally good, it becomes difficult for them to decide. So, often, women find themselves stuck in this “Land of Maybe,” trying to make a decision without knowing which option to choose. That’s why they’re looking for guys who can come in, cut through the confusion, and make a definitive decision about what needs to be done. Women need that decisiveness from us.
Now, to be fair, hey, some of us guys also find ourselves stuck in the “Land of Maybe.” I understand that. And I believe a lot of it stems from anxiety, lack of self-trust, or not having enough experiences that require us to test our decision-making skills. So, it’s important to recognize that even if you find yourself in the “Land of Maybe,” most women who approach you actually desire decisiveness.
They want a guy who can make decisions on the spot. They want a guy who can pull them out of the land of maybe. Moreover, when challenging situations arise between the two of you, such as the loss of a loved one or a job promotion leading to decisions about burial arrangements, funeral costs, or relocation, she will look to you for the final say. While she may present the pros and cons, women are skilled at making lists, she ultimately seeks your decisive input.
But at the end of the day, most women are going to look to you to make that final decision. And if you’re not a guy who can do that, it won’t allow her to trust you. Even more importantly, she’ll realize she’s with a guy who will keep her stuck in the land of maybe. When women think about things, they often connect them to various factors, including the emotional cost, which is a valuable skill. However, sometimes this process prevents them from feeling comfortable making the final call on something.
When you step in and do that, here’s what will happen: There will be the first few times she comes to you with something. It might be a lighthearted matter like, “Hey, I was thinking of choosing between this dress and that dress. Which one should I go with?” And most guys might think, “That’s not a significant decision. Why should I have a say in that?”
But those are early tests to see if you’re the guy who can help her escape the land of maybe. Because then, fast forward to a situation like, “Hey, we have kids now, and I’m trying to decide between this school and that school. Which one should we choose?” Well, she has already put you through the challenges of helping her practice getting out of the “Land of Maybe.” Now, she knows she can rely on you as a partner. She can come to you with these questions, fully aware that even if you ask a few questions and weigh the pros and cons, you’ll ultimately be able to make a decision when she cannot.
So, guys, that’s why it’s important for you to practice decision-making and stop being overly apprehensive when dating women. Don’t constantly think, “Oh my God, I have to involve her in every decision. What if neither of us knows something? We’ll be stuck.” You need to step up your game. Part of that involves trusting yourself more when making decisions because women will notice, trust you, and be more willing to follow your lead.
These are the qualities they truly desire in a partner. They need to see that they can build trust with you, and they should recognize that you’re the type of guy who brings excitement to decision-making without revealing everything.
It’s crucial to maintain a level of mystery. Nice guys sometimes make the mistake of thinking they have to disclose every single detail, fearing they’re being dishonest or misleading. But let me emphasize this once again: women crave mystery. So, if you’re a nice guy, the easiest way to create that mystery, without resorting to lies, is simply saying, “Hey, babe, I’ve got it. I’ll plan an activity. You just show up.” This approach alone will keep you firmly in the realm of mystery for women.
And also, you want to get her out of that “Land of Maybe.” Women often find themselves stuck there, struggling to make decisions, and they’re looking for you to help them escape. They want you to guide them out of that land and see how your decisive actions resonate with them. It allows them to build trust and strengthen their feelings for you. All right. So, hopefully, guys, this helps you out.
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